Nice guys finish last

"Nice guys finish last."

How often have you heard that pitiful phrase? I've heard it a lot. Always from a self-proclaimed nice guy who is lamenting his singleness and hating the jocks and jerks (often one and the same) who "get all the girls."

Is it true that girls always go for the jerks? Why do they go for those types of guys? What is appealing about a mean, egotistical guy? Not much, according to our "nice guys."

As a girl who has been pretty careful in my dating life, I would like to be able to say that I haven't found the jerks attractive...but I'm not gonna lie; I did. So cool, loud, funny, strong and definitely more interesting than those guys who sit near you in high school and say kind things and do their work and get picked on by the mean guys, or just generally fly under the radar.

But now I'm a little older than 13, and a little more mature than 15, and finally at college with adults. Yes. I am an adult now. And now suddenly I can look back and see that those kids in high school got it all wrong. ALL OF THEM.

The girls were stupid and wasted their time and got less than they deserved.
The nice guys thought they finished last, but it's actually the complete opposite. (Plus, they hadn't finished anything. Their life is still at the very beginning.)
The jerks don't end up better than everyone else. Actually, they seem to end up worse.

The only people who got it right? Our parents.

So since I'm at BYU and getting married is now a thing of immediate concern, or so it is portrayed, I have countless married friends, all around my age or a little older. When I look at the men in this special union...none of them are mean guys. They are the NICE GUYS all grown up. And why are they chosen? Because the girls grew up too.

A girl wants a kind boy, a loving and friendly and funny boy. A girl wants the nice guy. She doesn't want the boy with the big muscles and no brain. She doesn't want a good-looking boy with no social skills and a massive ego. A girl wants to be cherished and loved; she doesn't want to follow around her husband, a groupie to his stupid jokes and limited conversation.

Nope. A girl wants a nice guy. Actually, a woman wants a nice guy. Once you grow up, you figure out what you want. And it's the inside. Sure, the outside is important too, but we want someone with substance.

So to the teenage nice guys who think you're gonna finish last: you're wrong. From my experience, the real winners aren't the lads who had 40 cute girlfriends in high school. They are the men who end up happy with a family and a future.

Keep being the nice guys, because one day when the girls grow up, you'll see who really finishes last.

Give and Take

Today I was considering what makes life bearable at college. I mean, there are a million things that could make this seem like a living hell:

Endless assignments, midterms, lack of sleep, busy jobs, no car, cold weather, getting sick and having to survive on your own without your mom looking after you and making you soup, blisters from walking, eating pasta or rice daily, roommate drama, relationship drama, having no money, having to share your room, clothes, food, shower, and privacy with another, worrying about your future, worrying about your present, wondering whether you have chosen the right major, forgetting work at home and realizing you can't just text mom and ask her to bring it to you, sleeping in because you forgot to set an alarm and you're the only one responsible for you, looking in the fridge and seeing you have no food, trying to balance 101 things and knowing you're failing miserably, staining your clothes and not knowing what the heck to do...

How does that sound like "the best time of your life?" It doesn't. But this makes it the best:

Staying up late because you're on a double date, losing sleep because you and your roommate think the best time to talk is 2am and 3 hours is just not enough time to laugh about all the random things, having your first real job and feeling the satisfaction of making money, having roommates bring you surprise goodies because they know you are sick and want you to feel happy, the Relief Society President knocks on your door and hands you a can of soup to help you get over your cold, walking to school every morning with increased layers of clothing because its cold but loving the mornings because its quality time with your boyfriend, realizing that while your future is uncertain, it is yours and you have the power right now to be anything you want to be, calling mom and hearing how happy she is just to talk to you for five minutes and noticing how much stronger your relationship is, going out to eat because you forgot to go shopping...again, eating rice for dinner and laughing at your inability to be a functioning adult because you forgot to go shopping...again, staining your clothes but having a friend there to teach you how and sort out the problem...

The list goes on. Daily I am blessed to consider how my life is made wonderful by the small things. Here are some things that recently made me smile:

Jason gave me a ride home from school so I didn't have to walk, Matt and I saw the most beautiful landscape and captured it in a photograph, I walked past Jess' room and heard her and some friends laughing madly, I watched Matt curl up on the couch and try relax which is hard since his mind is forever going at 100mph, I watched another roommate have a really awkward Skype call for which we all enjoyed laughing at her, I laughed in the place of crying at work today when my colleague and I had absolutely NO CLUE what the heck was going on...it was a nice moment of shared despair that turned into a good memory, a guy in my philosophy class told me that my presentation was good, I had 2 kind people offer to give me their planners since I had lost mine, I watched a movie when I probably should have been doing homework but I felt like I deserved it so there, I watched a boy drop his fiancée off at her class and as she walked away he called after her: "Hey! You look absolutely beautiful today!"...yes those kinds of people do exist, hearing a guy describe how he wants to propose to his girlfriend, watching a disabled student be helped out by an able-bodied student, knowing my sister is performing on stage and being amazing at it because that's what she likes to do, FaceTiming my mom and dad and watching them be lunatics on camera, receiving a cute and unexpected gift in the mail, meeting some old friends for a catch up, watching the leaves change color...

The point is, when life seems awful, it never really is...or actually it is, but it is just as full, if not so much more full, of wonderful moments which, if appreciated, make life beautiful.

It's the simple things.

Try notice someone smile because of something you did, try notice when you smile because of the actions of someone else. Smile all the time, because there are a million things to smile about.

Give a little, take a little. Serve and be served. Love and be loved.

It's worked so far for me.

Sophomore Year Begins

Hello? How are you? I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet...Hello from the other side!

Just quoting Adele. But really...it's been a really long time. Mom complained, some missionaries complained, my conscience complained...and actually I really enjoy writing so I'm back with a vengeance. Or at least I'll try!!

Well it's pretty dang hard to figure out what has been going on in the last 8 months without writing a book, so I'm gonna hit the highlights and see what's been going on.

First of all, some super important people you all need to meet to be up to speed. Of course I have met A LOT of people in the last few months, but here are a few to wrap your head around:

These two...

Well here is a better photo. Jessica and Jason.

Jessica is my new roommate. I know, I thought the same thing...Jessica Bowen my sister, Jessica Smyth my fabulous Northern Irish freshman roommate and now Jessica Babcock, my wonderful South African sophomore roommate...so I'm fully expecting to marry a man named Jesse...it would only make sense. Also, her extension is a dude called Jason. Californian. Stubborn. Funny. Pretty darn obnoxious but we all have to love him. Plus I get to bug him 3 times a week in my philosophy class. Fabulous.

Either way, I have them to thank for meeting this llama

Okay, again, not so much of a good picture...let's try again...I have them to thank for meeting this wonderful guy:

:) Much better. 

That's Matt. He's pretty epic. I don't need to say too much since if you have any form of social media you'll know quite clearly my opinion on him.

So those are 3 new people who will feature again I am 100% sure.

Apart from that, I have been blessed with 4 other EXTRAORDINARY flatmates: Hannah, Jess (yes, another Jess, different from my roommate Jessica), Hailey, and Tayla. If you were aware of the disaster I had over summer you'd think that these amazing girls were angels too.

So yeah. Short and sweet but back on track with writing. 

Follow if you want, comment if you want, I'm going to try be a bit more consistent!

- Clauds

Recent Events Creating the Most Amazing Time of my Life

So my mom kept posting on my Facebook complaining about my lack of blogging, and she is right. It's been nearly two months so that's pretty woeful. So here are some fabulous things I have done recently. This experience is the most fantastic of all of my life so far. Every day is exciting. Every day I am SO grateful for being here. It is such a blessing and I want to share some of my blessings of late with you!

 So these are just two beautiful shots of Utah. This is perhaps the most beautiful place I have ever lived. I will forever love the sea an green pastures of Ireland, but these mountains have so much significance and majesty that I cannot ignore it. I smile every time I think about how beautiful they are. Plus the sunsets are gorgeous here.

These were taken in Pleasant Grove, UT.

I gained brothers when I moved to America. These are my ward brothers, and I love them so much. Most Wednesdays and Sundays I spend with them from 7-9. We sing songs, go to games, play touch rugby, by treats, take selfie's, support each other...everything a family does.

 This is me, KC, Johnson, and Kaden at a volleyball game :) We are passionate as you can tell.

 This is the Swatman, Ben Swatling...enough said

 This is me being in control, because I have to be or else they'd revolt against their queen...or whatever I am. I'm more of a groupie really.

 This is KC, Kaden, Tristan, Ranse, and Ethan going to watch the Swatman and Will play tennis for an intramural activity.

 These are a lot of the lads in my ward getting ready to play flag football. We supported them and then they played touch rugby with us afterwards. It was a good day :)

 This is dear soon-to-be-Elder Swatling. He was called to serve in the California, Longbeach mission. So proud of him! A lot of the boys are waiting for their calls now.

This is KC with a hubcap. I asked him why he has it. He said he found it. I guess that's good enough reason to wear it as a necklace. He will be serving in the Oklahoma, Oklahoma City mission :)

As you can tell, we spend a lot of time together. I'm sure I annoy the heck out of them...actually I know I do, but that's okay, because in the end they're one of my biggest supports. I put up with their video games and girl problems so they can suck it up ;)

Recently I helped them make a parody of Sugar by Maroon 5. It just shows their personalities so well. I love that.

This is a clip of them before we filmed. Crazy lads.

This is a video from one of the nights I was at their dorm...they do a lot of singing.

Okay, more new people I have gotten close to coming up:

So I am in this American Heritage class which I abhorred so much at the start. I thought it would be so difficult and I didn't really see why I had to learn about America since I wasn't American. But I actually really love the principles and concepts I learn. Honestly, I understand the patriotism here so much. If I was born here I would feel the exact same way and probably be the most annoying American out there. The Founding of this country really was inspired. The political system is so interesting, the Founders themselves are interesting. I love understanding economics a lot more. It's such a great class.

Anyway, the point is I have lab once a week with international students so they can simplify and explain things to us better and in it are these two Brazilians called Victor Lazaro and André Marques and they are just two of the most fabulous people I've ever met.

I don't have a photo with André so here's one with Victor. We were at a rugby game.

I've learned a few things in Portuguese and I've learned a bit about their culture. It's so cool how immersed I am in cultures here. When I great them you kiss each other on the cheek. Isn't that cool. Kinda like the French but just one cheek. And when you leave each other you say Falou! I love learning these cool things :)

Okay next on the list are two very special girls, Savannah from Florida and Marieka from Ohio. :) Savannah's brother Chase is featured a lot too. Plus our friends Sarah and Emily :) I love being around them. They lift me up, make me laugh, dance with me, sing with me, cry with me. They are so amazing, I wish I had met them and become closer sooner but everything has a time and a place.

 This is Marieka and Savannah. :)

 This is Chase and Marieka (in the red) at tunnel singing .

 Me and Savannah taking a #selfie

 We are beautiful. Especially Marieka ;)

 That's Emily on the left. We were on the way to Lowe's, a trampoline place. It was fun!

These are our shadows. I took the photo for an art class, but it really is quite beautiful...especially those mountains.

Here are some random events that were fun and have nice stories :)

 This was from the Museum of Art on campus. Chase and I spent a few hours there and spent some time making origami from books and a screen. Pretty impressive if I say so myself.

 That's just a snazzy mask I found ;)

 This is a cool story. So one Sunday our high councilman Brother Hemingway and his wife, Sister Hemingway, invited us to their Pizza Pie Cafe for a free lunch. We could each make whatever pizza we wanted, plus we made dessert pizza's...they are maybe the most beautiful things I have ever eaten. Such kind people in my ward.

 This was just one Sunday when the sun was shining and roomie love was high.

 This is my beautiful campus <3 I took this on the way to Wasatch Elementary School where I volunteer helping 6th graders with their math. THOSE MOUNTAINS <3

This is actually just embarrassing. So I'm not too familiar with mexican food, but this was served at dinner one night so I got it. It was basically meat etc wrapped up. I thought you eat the whole things so I chewed and chewed and finally bit through, then downed the bite, before I was informed that you don't eat...the PAPER. Needless to say I felt stupid, since other Americans had seen me gnawing away and also suddenly not hungry. That was a bad night with a great memory.

This is just me doing a random slack line thing. I wasn't that fab but I have since gotten better.

This was a time Jeremy, Jess, Trent, and I went to Swig. It's basically a store dedicated to soda. Crazy but it's so good. When Jess saw Trent's face, she choked on the cookie she had just bitten into hahahaha like she really did choke.

This is Tayla teaching me how to dance. I was pretty woeful, but I did try haha. I love Tayla so much. <3 I don't know how I lived without her.

Recently I've met so many new people and been influenced in some wonderful ways. I feel so happy being here. Of course I miss my family, but it's a good missing. I know I was meant to be here at BYU and if I were to choose again I would do the exact same thing. I love the girls and guys I meet. Thank you for making my life wonderful <3

The Importance of a Ward Family

So, in case you have been living under a rock here are two things you should know before you read this post:

1) I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons
2) I'm currently living in Provo, UT

Okay, now that we have that cleared up, I want to make clear a few things about my religion so that if you're not LDS you will understand what I'm talking about:

1) Our churches are called "Wards". We have so many people that we have many church buildings so we have multiple wards, each named after the area you are in. For example, when I was in Northern Ireland I was in the Bangor 1st ward. Get it?

They look something like this

2) A group of wards in close proximity are called a "stake". So in Northern Ireland I was in the Belfast, NI stake. Get that too? Stay with me now.

3) In our families we try to have Family Night once a week, on a Monday usually. It's just a time to spend time together since so many people have crazy schedules. We call it family home evening (FHE). This is all relevant to my post I swear.

OK...

Now for those of you, LDS or not, who don't go to BYU. Here are some things you need to know.

1) There are 1000's of LDS student in a very small area, relative to the amount of Mormons. So there are hundreds of wards! Don't believe me? I'm in the Provo YSA (that stands for Young Single Adults) 109th ward. 109th!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me? And our wards are pretty huge! Especially relative to wards in Northern Ireland.

2) Now, as you can imagine, because there are so many wards, there are A LOT of stakes. I'm in the Provo YSA 8th stake. Guys this is craziness. You feel me?

3) We don't have our families at school with us, as much as we miss our mom's cooking and our dad's advice and our sibling's humour and love. But we have ward families. They split our ward into groups, and that's our family. Students get called to be the Mom and the Dad and then they plan activities which we participate in on a Monday night, just like normal FHE!

OK...

So now. Why I LOVE my ward family.

Because I'm lacking my real family, and I'm living in a new country, there are times when I get down and sad and need someone to talk to. There are also times when I want to hang out with someone and have a great time. There are other times when I need someone to sit with at breakfast. Then there are the times when I need someone to talk some sense into me.

My ward family fills all of those gaps.

Last Sunday was a bit rough. A couple of guys noticed in my ward, Johnson, Ben, Kaden, and Daniel. It was around 10pm and they could've just brushed me off, but instead they told me to grab my shoes and we walked around outside for an hour. I love that so much. They were my friends, my shrink, my parents, my sister, my conscience, my reason. Everything. They stepped up and made the difference. That's why I love them.

That same night I was alone because all of my roommates weren't there, so I texted Jeremy (he's in my FHE family group) and he was right over. Cheered me right up.

Another time I was at dinner alone, because my roommates were gone again (recurring theme? ;) ) anyway, I was at a table alone, and then Ben, Tristan, and Will suddenly plopped down opposite me. How amazing is that. You're never really alone when you have a ward family. Someone is always going to be there to help you out. Always.

Last night all my roommates were gone again, so I jokingly (kind of) put on instagram that I was going to be watching Netflix all night. Not even a minute after posting, Amanda came to my door. I spent about an hour then with Amanda, Whitney, Laurel, and Kaylin. Then just after that I got a text from Johnson because he saw the post too, so Johnson, Amanda, Whitney, and I went to the creamery for ice cream then sat up talking for hours. Sounds like family to you? It does to me.

On Monday we had FHE at 7 Peak's ice rink where we went skating. That was so much fun. Another not boring night just because we make the effort to come together and have fun.

This is me, Ranse, Amanda, and Kaden

This morning (Saturday morning) a group of us was going to go the Temple, but most people couldn't make it in the end or slept in, so Kaden and I walked up to Provo Temple. It was dark when we went in because we left campus at 6:30am but it was beautiful and bright when we came out at 10am or just a bit after. Here's what it looked like!

6:30am

10:30am

How beautiful is this?

I also have Jessica (the roommate) and Trent (the roommate's boyfriend). They give me some time now and then ;) But it's super fun being with them and hearing their banter. 

Of course, my real family still exists! I had a lovely long phone call with my sister the other day. She's so great...and even more beautiful.

Possibly my favourite photo of Jess ever

Being in the LDS community means you are never alone no matter where in the world you go. I had the fantastic opportunity to run into an old missionary who served in Bangor 1st Ward. This is Elder Brown.

Porter Brown now that he doesn't have the name tag

This week has just truly opened my eyes to the blessings of this world. I am so grateful for being a part of BYU, for the structure that the school provides to my life. It's not just an education. It's a lifestyle. I love my friends, my family, and my ward family. Thank you all for being a part of my life and looking after me! I really appreciate it more than you know!

Love you all!

Clauds 

Christmas with my Family

This Christmas was the same as every other one because I spent it with the three most important people in my life, my mom, dad, and sister!

We had a super relaxing holiday, and I just loved spending time in the beautiful country of Northern Ireland! It really is as green as you'd think:

It was an emotional reunion because 4 months feels like forever when you're 18 and in a new country, but it was just so great being there with them.

My favourite thing was spending time with my sister, because she's my longest best friend and now she is basically MY big sister.

I loved being back in my home ward also, seeing the kids who seemed so much older, to see new families in the ward. It was a happy Christmas, full of discovery of new things, being comfortable with old things, and just general peace.

One thing that I was surprised to find was that I love Utah. I went back to Northern Ireland and realised that there is so much more of my social life in Utah. I work there, I have friends there, school is there. Basically my life apart from my family. So when I came back to Provo I was so happy to start a new semester, with new classes. I have a class with Tayla 3 times a week. If you don't know, Tayla is a close family friend, but we introduce each other as cousins because she basically is my cousin, we are that close! We get Jamba Juice together, we go to class together, she sets me straight and life is great :) 

So basically to sum it all up, I love my family, and I would have spent the holidays with no one else. But I also love Provo, the beauty of Utah, the fun I have with my friends, the amazing university I attend. So I'm grateful to for it all. Sure there are things I would change if I could, but I can't change it all, so I accept what I have with a glad heart.

"Come what may and love it"