"Nice guys finish last."
How often have you heard that pitiful phrase? I've heard it a lot. Always from a self-proclaimed nice guy who is lamenting his singleness and hating the jocks and jerks (often one and the same) who "get all the girls."
Is it true that girls always go for the jerks? Why do they go for those types of guys? What is appealing about a mean, egotistical guy? Not much, according to our "nice guys."
As a girl who has been pretty careful in my dating life, I would like to be able to say that I haven't found the jerks attractive...but I'm not gonna lie; I did. So cool, loud, funny, strong and definitely more interesting than those guys who sit near you in high school and say kind things and do their work and get picked on by the mean guys, or just generally fly under the radar.
But now I'm a little older than 13, and a little more mature than 15, and finally at college with adults. Yes. I am an adult now. And now suddenly I can look back and see that those kids in high school got it all wrong. ALL OF THEM.
The girls were stupid and wasted their time and got less than they deserved.
The nice guys thought they finished last, but it's actually the complete opposite. (Plus, they hadn't finished anything. Their life is still at the very beginning.)
The jerks don't end up better than everyone else. Actually, they seem to end up worse.
The only people who got it right? Our parents.
So since I'm at BYU and getting married is now a thing of immediate concern, or so it is portrayed, I have countless married friends, all around my age or a little older. When I look at the men in this special union...none of them are mean guys. They are the NICE GUYS all grown up. And why are they chosen? Because the girls grew up too.
A girl wants a kind boy, a loving and friendly and funny boy. A girl wants the nice guy. She doesn't want the boy with the big muscles and no brain. She doesn't want a good-looking boy with no social skills and a massive ego. A girl wants to be cherished and loved; she doesn't want to follow around her husband, a groupie to his stupid jokes and limited conversation.
Nope. A girl wants a nice guy. Actually, a woman wants a nice guy. Once you grow up, you figure out what you want. And it's the inside. Sure, the outside is important too, but we want someone with substance.
So to the teenage nice guys who think you're gonna finish last: you're wrong. From my experience, the real winners aren't the lads who had 40 cute girlfriends in high school. They are the men who end up happy with a family and a future.
Keep being the nice guys, because one day when the girls grow up, you'll see who really finishes last.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Give and Take
Today I was considering what makes life bearable at college. I mean, there are a million things that could make this seem like a living hell:
Endless assignments, midterms, lack of sleep, busy jobs, no car, cold weather, getting sick and having to survive on your own without your mom looking after you and making you soup, blisters from walking, eating pasta or rice daily, roommate drama, relationship drama, having no money, having to share your room, clothes, food, shower, and privacy with another, worrying about your future, worrying about your present, wondering whether you have chosen the right major, forgetting work at home and realizing you can't just text mom and ask her to bring it to you, sleeping in because you forgot to set an alarm and you're the only one responsible for you, looking in the fridge and seeing you have no food, trying to balance 101 things and knowing you're failing miserably, staining your clothes and not knowing what the heck to do...
How does that sound like "the best time of your life?" It doesn't. But this makes it the best:
Staying up late because you're on a double date, losing sleep because you and your roommate think the best time to talk is 2am and 3 hours is just not enough time to laugh about all the random things, having your first real job and feeling the satisfaction of making money, having roommates bring you surprise goodies because they know you are sick and want you to feel happy, the Relief Society President knocks on your door and hands you a can of soup to help you get over your cold, walking to school every morning with increased layers of clothing because its cold but loving the mornings because its quality time with your boyfriend, realizing that while your future is uncertain, it is yours and you have the power right now to be anything you want to be, calling mom and hearing how happy she is just to talk to you for five minutes and noticing how much stronger your relationship is, going out to eat because you forgot to go shopping...again, eating rice for dinner and laughing at your inability to be a functioning adult because you forgot to go shopping...again, staining your clothes but having a friend there to teach you how and sort out the problem...
The list goes on. Daily I am blessed to consider how my life is made wonderful by the small things. Here are some things that recently made me smile:
Jason gave me a ride home from school so I didn't have to walk, Matt and I saw the most beautiful landscape and captured it in a photograph, I walked past Jess' room and heard her and some friends laughing madly, I watched Matt curl up on the couch and try relax which is hard since his mind is forever going at 100mph, I watched another roommate have a really awkward Skype call for which we all enjoyed laughing at her, I laughed in the place of crying at work today when my colleague and I had absolutely NO CLUE what the heck was going on...it was a nice moment of shared despair that turned into a good memory, a guy in my philosophy class told me that my presentation was good, I had 2 kind people offer to give me their planners since I had lost mine, I watched a movie when I probably should have been doing homework but I felt like I deserved it so there, I watched a boy drop his fiancée off at her class and as she walked away he called after her: "Hey! You look absolutely beautiful today!"...yes those kinds of people do exist, hearing a guy describe how he wants to propose to his girlfriend, watching a disabled student be helped out by an able-bodied student, knowing my sister is performing on stage and being amazing at it because that's what she likes to do, FaceTiming my mom and dad and watching them be lunatics on camera, receiving a cute and unexpected gift in the mail, meeting some old friends for a catch up, watching the leaves change color...
The point is, when life seems awful, it never really is...or actually it is, but it is just as full, if not so much more full, of wonderful moments which, if appreciated, make life beautiful.
It's the simple things.
Try notice someone smile because of something you did, try notice when you smile because of the actions of someone else. Smile all the time, because there are a million things to smile about.
Give a little, take a little. Serve and be served. Love and be loved.
It's worked so far for me.
Endless assignments, midterms, lack of sleep, busy jobs, no car, cold weather, getting sick and having to survive on your own without your mom looking after you and making you soup, blisters from walking, eating pasta or rice daily, roommate drama, relationship drama, having no money, having to share your room, clothes, food, shower, and privacy with another, worrying about your future, worrying about your present, wondering whether you have chosen the right major, forgetting work at home and realizing you can't just text mom and ask her to bring it to you, sleeping in because you forgot to set an alarm and you're the only one responsible for you, looking in the fridge and seeing you have no food, trying to balance 101 things and knowing you're failing miserably, staining your clothes and not knowing what the heck to do...
How does that sound like "the best time of your life?" It doesn't. But this makes it the best:
Staying up late because you're on a double date, losing sleep because you and your roommate think the best time to talk is 2am and 3 hours is just not enough time to laugh about all the random things, having your first real job and feeling the satisfaction of making money, having roommates bring you surprise goodies because they know you are sick and want you to feel happy, the Relief Society President knocks on your door and hands you a can of soup to help you get over your cold, walking to school every morning with increased layers of clothing because its cold but loving the mornings because its quality time with your boyfriend, realizing that while your future is uncertain, it is yours and you have the power right now to be anything you want to be, calling mom and hearing how happy she is just to talk to you for five minutes and noticing how much stronger your relationship is, going out to eat because you forgot to go shopping...again, eating rice for dinner and laughing at your inability to be a functioning adult because you forgot to go shopping...again, staining your clothes but having a friend there to teach you how and sort out the problem...
The list goes on. Daily I am blessed to consider how my life is made wonderful by the small things. Here are some things that recently made me smile:
Jason gave me a ride home from school so I didn't have to walk, Matt and I saw the most beautiful landscape and captured it in a photograph, I walked past Jess' room and heard her and some friends laughing madly, I watched Matt curl up on the couch and try relax which is hard since his mind is forever going at 100mph, I watched another roommate have a really awkward Skype call for which we all enjoyed laughing at her, I laughed in the place of crying at work today when my colleague and I had absolutely NO CLUE what the heck was going on...it was a nice moment of shared despair that turned into a good memory, a guy in my philosophy class told me that my presentation was good, I had 2 kind people offer to give me their planners since I had lost mine, I watched a movie when I probably should have been doing homework but I felt like I deserved it so there, I watched a boy drop his fiancée off at her class and as she walked away he called after her: "Hey! You look absolutely beautiful today!"...yes those kinds of people do exist, hearing a guy describe how he wants to propose to his girlfriend, watching a disabled student be helped out by an able-bodied student, knowing my sister is performing on stage and being amazing at it because that's what she likes to do, FaceTiming my mom and dad and watching them be lunatics on camera, receiving a cute and unexpected gift in the mail, meeting some old friends for a catch up, watching the leaves change color...
The point is, when life seems awful, it never really is...or actually it is, but it is just as full, if not so much more full, of wonderful moments which, if appreciated, make life beautiful.
It's the simple things.
Try notice someone smile because of something you did, try notice when you smile because of the actions of someone else. Smile all the time, because there are a million things to smile about.
Give a little, take a little. Serve and be served. Love and be loved.
It's worked so far for me.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Sophomore Year Begins
Hello? How are you? I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet...Hello from the other side!
Just quoting Adele. But really...it's been a really long time. Mom complained, some missionaries complained, my conscience complained...and actually I really enjoy writing so I'm back with a vengeance. Or at least I'll try!!
Well it's pretty dang hard to figure out what has been going on in the last 8 months without writing a book, so I'm gonna hit the highlights and see what's been going on.
First of all, some super important people you all need to meet to be up to speed. Of course I have met A LOT of people in the last few months, but here are a few to wrap your head around:
Jessica is my new roommate. I know, I thought the same thing...Jessica Bowen my sister, Jessica Smyth my fabulous Northern Irish freshman roommate and now Jessica Babcock, my wonderful South African sophomore roommate...so I'm fully expecting to marry a man named Jesse...it would only make sense. Also, her extension is a dude called Jason. Californian. Stubborn. Funny. Pretty darn obnoxious but we all have to love him. Plus I get to bug him 3 times a week in my philosophy class. Fabulous.
Just quoting Adele. But really...it's been a really long time. Mom complained, some missionaries complained, my conscience complained...and actually I really enjoy writing so I'm back with a vengeance. Or at least I'll try!!
Well it's pretty dang hard to figure out what has been going on in the last 8 months without writing a book, so I'm gonna hit the highlights and see what's been going on.
First of all, some super important people you all need to meet to be up to speed. Of course I have met A LOT of people in the last few months, but here are a few to wrap your head around:
 |
| These two... |
 |
| Well here is a better photo. Jessica and Jason. |
Either way, I have them to thank for meeting this llama
Okay, again, not so much of a good picture...let's try again...I have them to thank for meeting this wonderful guy:
:) Much better.
That's Matt. He's pretty epic. I don't need to say too much since if you have any form of social media you'll know quite clearly my opinion on him.
So those are 3 new people who will feature again I am 100% sure.
Apart from that, I have been blessed with 4 other EXTRAORDINARY flatmates: Hannah, Jess (yes, another Jess, different from my roommate Jessica), Hailey, and Tayla. If you were aware of the disaster I had over summer you'd think that these amazing girls were angels too.
So yeah. Short and sweet but back on track with writing.
Follow if you want, comment if you want, I'm going to try be a bit more consistent!
- Clauds
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)